birth month and past life regression...

'twas that day of the year, to toast a three cheer
my arrival onto this globe; get the spotlight, get the strobe
time to reflect since then, what have i lost, what have i gained;

delve, delve into the past, past life regression atlast
reveals the reasons i'm here; with goals i hold on to dear
reach, reach out and realize; lest life's end chastise
breach of intent from birth to last; stay on track, hold on fast.

Words are all i have.

He sits by the lake-side,
And wonders at the world’s disasters…

Words, words, words and more words. When will all the action come? Where has all the intent gone?

Negativity. Nihilism. Nothingness.
Positivity. Vivacity. Bubbling with life.
Do these things matter in the long run?
Does it matter who you are? Or should one be content to be a mere drop in the ocean.
Why all this striving? This ambition. This desire to be.
To be a SOMEONE. Ultimately you have to die. All that lives on is mere memories. Just memories, which exist for only those who really remembered you; for those who really and truly have a spare moment for you. It all boils down to non-existentialism. Seems so futile and unnecessary. Life. Life is for the living. But, shouldn’t there be some driving force. Some director who goads – no, guides – you on? Furnishes you with the necessary fire of energy? Of enthusiasm. Of ambition. Of desire. To be spurred on?

I wouldn’t mind, this moment, to be on a nomadic cloud. Drifting on high. With an aimless, lazy course across the firmament. Peeking in here, joining in there. A participant yet an aloof one. Involved and yet solitary. Unscathed and untouched by the pettiness (?) around. Sure, it mayn’t be trifle for the rest of the world. But for me – true – I’m disengaged from actuality. From the so-called Reality of this life.

Well, right now, I’m feeling pure negation. And this piece of writing is witness.

Confusion. Should I be – my old happy-go-lucky gay(?) self? Or should I be(come) a changed person, wrought by and overcome by the usual rigours of a humdrum lifestyle.

I want to be FREE. From the shackles of routine and convention. From the restriction of a 9-5 job.

I want to get over the ordeal of doubt. Finish the test and get a confirmation, do the needful and rest in satisfaction – peace of mind.

Let gooooooo...

Dreaming, Delving, Exploring. Into the Mind. I want freedom – Restriction from shackles. Breakfree – Let your mind go unleashed. Untampered, unembellished, naked. Like nature. What happened to me? Why am I bound. I’m Chained. Restrained. Leashed. Curbed. Checked. I am conditioned. Refrained. Held back. Cordoned off. One day I’ll let go.

I’LL BREAK THE CHAINS. DROP THEM. FLOAT in the firmament.

We should live free with no walls, doors, windows, fences, curtains, drapes to our thoughts. Let them be spontaneous. Let me be queen of all I survey. Let me be in control of my life. Let me SURFACE. Let go...

Over the Writer's Block..

Nine months. Finally, I managed it. Got around to putting my stories and poems together. Humorous, tear-jerkers, sublime, social-changers.Send to publishers for evaluation. I did it. Overcame the writer's block. Indu will provide the illustrations. Expect the book out by January 2009. And meanwhile, work on my Practioner's Handbook for Technical Writers manuscript - publish this through Wiley.
Target - Jan'09 to the publishers on stands by April '09.

All the best to me!